You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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