My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
