I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
