Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
