Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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