I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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