He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize