I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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