last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
