Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
