You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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