see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
