You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm passing your future prison.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
