You just made me feel so damn special
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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