I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
