Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
