that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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