i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
