You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
