Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
