i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
