they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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