Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
