Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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