I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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