Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
