something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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