Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
