then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
