So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
