im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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