I hate all girls vehemently.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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