I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize