My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
