Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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