no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
