so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
