you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
