What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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