just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
