maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just found a bag of teeth...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
