Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
