There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
