I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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