Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
