Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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