It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
