I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
