Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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