Don't you send me to vm
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize