I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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