Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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