I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
