I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize