I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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