he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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