Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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