i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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