I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
