you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
