If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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