hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
