New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
