I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
