Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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