where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize