Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
