that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
