??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
