jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
