Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize