Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
