I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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