why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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