My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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